Sunday, April 15, 2012

Disaster and a Half

What a busy week!

Wednesday was when the folks from Texas Appliance delivered our new, stainless steel dishwasher and refrigerator. Behold:

Fancy new dishwasher

Fancy new 'fridge

We were so pumped to get these! We've never had new appliances and certainly never had anything stainless steel. Our appliances in the apartment work fine, but the dishwasher is mega-loud. We seriously only do dishes when we're about to leave the apartment or when we're about to go to bed and shut our bedroom door -- it's that loud. So, of course, when we looked for a new dishwasher, we were adamant about getting one that's quiet.

After the delivery man installed both appliances, he turned on the dishwasher to let me hear it. Um...there was pretty much nothing to hear. It. Was. AWESOME.

Unfortunately, the delivery man put a dent in our right 'fridge door when he was bringing it over the threshold, but he promised to bring a new door on Friday.

On Wednesday evening, when I was browsing Craigslist for lawn equipment and a corner shelf, I ran across this glider for sale in the area:

The price was much cheaper than an elliptical, and this thing folds up so it can fit in a closet -- perfect for the house that doesn't have an entire room dedicated to workout equipment. I know that gliders don't provide much resistance in the way of working out, but at least it was something that could provide me with cardio while I simultaneously stuff goldfish in my mouth watch TV, and the lady in the picture looks like she's having a good time working out, so I decided to e-mail the seller.

Look at that smile! Cardio is fun! ...Big fat liar.
I immediately got a reply that the glider was still available, and he could meet me on Friday to make the sale. I've never purchased anything off Craigslist before -- Craigslist killer, anyone?? -- but I figured that meeting him in broad daylight in front of a store couldn't be that bad.

That was on Wednesday night. By Friday morning, I was having second thoughts.

Thank goodness for the Find My Friends app on iPhone -- I made sure Jon was tracking me during every second of this little meeting! (Note: My family spent about an hour in the parking lot of a mall with this app on Thursday night, trying to track my mom's dropped cell phone! We probably should've recorded the whole scenario...or maybe I should make a blog post about it. Anyway, this app is a gem, and you'll be happy to know that my mom now has her iPhone back.)

The glider ended up being too big to fit in my little car -- dang it, Toyota! -- so the guy offered to drop it off at our house, "if I was comfortable with that." Well, considering that Jon was at work and we had no access to any bigger vehicles at the moment, I decided I'd either better get comfy with the idea of this man coming to my house or else I wouldn't be purchasing any fancy new workout equipment.

So I led the guy to our new house. I am slightly embarrassed to say that I called Jon to freak out a little on the way, saying he'd better be watching my blinking blue dot on the iPhone's GPS map the entire time. 

I kept all the doors of the house locked and only opened the garage. He offered to tow the thing into whichever room I wanted, but I said no, thank you, if you can just lay it right there in the garage, I'll throw the money at you, lock the doors, and you can be on your merry way.

OK, so I only said the first portion about laying it in the garage. But I was thinking the rest.

You'll be glad to know I made it out of the situation safely, with the glider as our newest possession.

Literally double-checked every door and made sure the garage was firmly closed as I watched him leave through the window. It's also possible that I stayed at the window for an extra 10 minutes, in case he decided to come back to the house, wielding a chainsaw or ax.
With that done, I set to work on painting the master bathroom.

The master bathroom is the last room of the house left to paint, and our move in date is less than 2 weeks away, so I figured I'd better get crackin'.

The previous owners painted the entire master bathroom a poopy, brown color, so we have to paint the ceiling and the walls.

I'd never painted a ceiling before.

I'm not the neatest painter to begin with.

I'm sure you can see where this is leading.

An hour later, it looked like a mini, F3 tornado had come through our master bathroom. There was paint everywhere. It had leaked through the drop cloths and was on the tile. Our bathtub was now the same color as the ceiling. I looked like a crazed football fan who painted up to display school spirit (if the school's color was "Oak Cake"). Oh, yeah, I also had paint IN MY EYE! Yup. I was wearing my contacts, and they have been bothering me since July, since the crazy new eye doctor I went to down here gave me a new brand of contacts (despite my insistence that I loved my old brand) and refused to let me exchange them (despite all my vision problems since then). So my eyes are always a little irritable when they're sans-glasses. However, all of a sudden, I got a burning sensation in my right eye. Looked in the mirror, and...yup. There was "Oak Cake," sittin' pretty on my contact lens. Cool. (I donned lawn mowing goggles during the rest of my ceiling-painting adventure, in case you're wondering.)

After I finished the first coat and the trim, I instinctively looked in the mirror to congratulate myself on a job well done.

I looked like Bride of Frankenstein. No, really. I had a streak of white-ish "Oak Cake" going down one side of my head.



It was then that I decided to tweet again.

I was fed up and didn't want to wait on the refrigerator installation man, so I decided to go back to the apartment for lunch; surely, that would make him come more quickly.

I had just finished lunch when he called, saying he was already at the house, so I raced back to let him in. I finished the second coat of paint on the ceiling (much less messy this time, thankyouverymuch), and came home for the day.

On Saturday, Jon and I spent time at the house all day again. He's trying to finish the plumbing and electrical on the master bath, and I'm trying to avoid painting again at all costs. :) So I spent most of the day packing things at the apartment, lugging them to the house, and unpacking them. Jon worked on the bathroom and the garage; he wanted to put an epoxy sealant on the garage floor. He finished it late Saturday night, and it looks good! (Sorry, no picture.)

We forgot about it being race weekend at Texas Motor Speedway, so I got stuck in traffic coming back to the apartment. 3 of the 4 entrances to our apartment are blocked by cops, and they make certain roads into one-ways so as to better control the traffic. I had to park on the side of the highway and politely ask the cop to move his cones and let me back to my apartment. Sigh.

This morning, we watched Megamind on Netflix. It was so funny! We recommend it. :)

Afterwards, we decided to make an impromptu trip to Ikea. (If you don't remember our first trip to Ikea, you can refresh your memory by reading this blog post.) We'd had our eye on a certain entertainment center since our first trip but just hadn't gotten around to getting over there again to purchase it.

We were slightly more prepared for Ikea this time around; I think I went in with the mentality of a Shopping Warrior, and that worked out quite well.

We had a hilarious moment when we first walked in: a family with an older lady toting a walker decided it was a good idea to board the escalator, despite the fact that the older woman did not seem to be able to stand on her own...and despite the fact that there was an elevator about 3 feet behind the escalator, clearly marked. A hippie couple got on the escalator after them, and we boarded after the hippies. The older woman's family couldn't carry her quite like they'd anticipated, so a crowd formed quickly at the top of the escalator. The hippies calmly stepped onto the unloading platform -- right up in Older Lady's grille, might I add -- and just stood, not leaving any room for Jesus. Jon and I are frantically trying to step backwards, one stair at a time, until we almost land on Little Girl's toes. We're finally forced to get off the escalator, and we become friends with the hippies, as we cannot leave any room for Jesus, either. Just as I was about to strike up a conversation with Hippie Girl about her interesting sweatshirt, the people-clog disburses, as Older Lady's family finally picked her up and scooted her to the side.

See? This is our life. Really. I can't make this up.

We found the entertainment center pretty quickly. Ain't she a beaut (said in my best hick-accent)?

Good news: you could actually buy this on Craigslist for $50...any takers??

lol. Kidding. This is our newest addition:

Yippee!! I L-O-V-E it. No, I looooovvveeeee it!! *squeal*

Our current TV stand is something Jon picked up at a dumpster while he was in college (yeah. We're those people) and has black Sharpie on each end (yeah. We're those people, too), courtesy of Christmas 2011. Our current media stand is a $20 puny bookcase from Walmart that looks like a cockroach could tip it over (not that we have any!). So yeah, I'm a little excited about this fancy new entertainment center! :)

By the way, the actual purchasing process at Ikea was cray-cray. We Jon hauled a flatbed around the basement of Ikea, weaving back and forth through the aisles and other shoppers, in a strange scavenger-hunt for our future furniture. He loaded all of it himself and pushed our cart -- which, of course, veered to the left at every opportunity -- to the check out center. I'd also found some vases and fake flowers at a good price for the mantle and various other places in the house, so I was hauling those in the trademark, yellow, Ikea bag.

The guy is ringing up our purchases, starting with my yellow bag full of items, and he starts sliding the items down to me. He tells me there is packing paper beneath the register if I want to wrap them for extra protection. Hmm. OK.

I start wrapping the 5 vases and 6 fake flowers when it occurs to me: he's not handing me a shopping bag in which to pack them. I tentatively ask him if he has a bag I can use to carry our smaller items. He tells me that he has a blue shopping bag that I'm welcome to purchase for $0.59. ...Say what now?! You want me to purchase my shopping bag when I just spent my future children's college fund at your store?! I said no thank you, and I stuffed them all into my arms tightly. We looked ridiculous -- with me juggling glass vases and Jon zig-zagging down the parking lot -- but we made it in one piece!

We took it to the house and unloaded all the pieces. Jon wanted to work on installing some new light fixtures we bought for the bathrooms, so I decided I would unpack the small cabinet (where the TV is sitting in the picture above) and get started on putting it together. I tend to be impatient with things like that; I'm eager to start decorating, so I think that I can put this thing together by myself.

I'd heard that Ikea instruction booklets were easy to read: there are no words. They supposedly do this because the stores are in so many countries, and it's easier just to print everything in pictures so there's no need to translate.

My first warning should have been this page,


which explicitly crosses out the one-person option and tells you to use the buddy system when putting together their furniture.

Ignoring the picture, I start flipping through the manual. There's like, 50 pages and about 5 times as many parts.

So I closed the box back up and told Jon I was ready to go back to the apartment. :) I'll he'll save that for another day.

Sheesh. I really am a Disaster and a Half. :)

4 love notes:

Melanie said...

I just love reading your blogs! So funny!

Brittany said...

Your blog posts are so funny. I now donate to Salvation Army becuase my mom has scared the crap out of me about Craigslist.

Candice said...

Glad you can take pleasure in our pain! lol. Just kidding. :)

Candice said...

Thanks. :)

My grandma has me paranoid about pretty much everything, so I had ALL KINDS of visions dancing in my head about this Craigslist meeting. ...She's the woman who once called me at my college dorm in southeast Oklahoma to tell me that a convict had escaped from prison in KANSAS and was "headed my way." So I didn't tell Meme about this meeting and I did a lot of praying beforehand! hehe