Wednesday, March 21, 2012

A Little Bit of Everything

You might wanna grab a cup of coffee and brace yo'self for a bit of a novel, because this post is lengthy.

This marks the last week of my mini-long-term subbing job at a GREAT elementary school fairly close by. Although the circumstances were not wonderful for the original teacher, this job has been such a blessing to me. I have learned so much from the kids and my fellow teachers. I am just now feeling like I'm "in the groove," and now I have to leave! (Of course!) I can only hope I have been a blessing to the students and have made everyone else's life a little easier. I've been super-tired lately, partly because I lay awake at night, worrying. I have always been a worrier, although I have been focusing on letting that worry go this year, knowing that God will provide. I just want so badly to make a good impression on the staff at this I stay awake, wondering if I could have worded something differently, if I could've been more patient during this moment, or if I should've provided more assistance at this point... Luckily, because of my OCD perfectionist personality, I can rest assured that I did the best I could during my time there. It is going to be weird next week, not making the 30-minute drive every morning to one of my favorite schools around! But I know God has a plan...

Speaking of God, I am continually amazed and confused by Him. I am slowly learning how to listen when He speaks to me, which is a pretty cool experience. I am always amazed when I pray for something earnestly, and He provides. Every. Single. Time. I was having a really rough morning on Monday. So during my plan period, I literally shut the door to my classroom, got on my knees, and prayed. I am still shaking my head in disbelief that I received my answer within two hours. Whaa...? But the more I learn to lean on Him, the more I see Him working. It's a funny thing.

I have to admit: I was really reconsidering trying to find a teaching job again next year; this year has disappointed me and made me feel like a failure for not being able to teach. I keep thinking that there must be something wrong with me or my resume to keep me from getting a job that I have dreamed about for years. But it has been through this most recent several-week-job that has confirmed that I am pursuing God's plan for me. I don't know why I didn't get a classroom of my own this year, and that really bugs me. But I know there is a good reason... If nothing else, this entire year has taught me to lean on and trust in Him more than ever and to realize His power. What an eye-opening year it has been.

One positive thing about ending this current job is that I will have more time. This current job makes me leave the house at 5 'til 7 every morning, and I don't leave until the other teachers can leave -- 3:40. Then I rush to another elementary school to do some tutoring. After that, I either rush home to start dinner, or I rush to another location to do some more tutoring before going home to start dinner. :) The past two days have been filled with tutoring in the evenings, and I haven't gotten home until 8-ish. Since I'm out of practice of being on my feet all day, every day, subbing a young grade every day has me pretty tired. But combined with tutoring in the evenings + all the sleep I lose, worrying that I'm doing exactly as God intends for me to do at the job... I'm exhausted. I guess the silver lining to being unemployed again is that I can have more time to do all that housewife-stuff I've been neglecting, tutor, work on my online business, and work on our new house. :)

That's another thing God has done for me recently: helped me see silver linings in everything and helped me to find peace (eventually) about almost all situations. Like, seriously? I am so overwhelmed by the work He has done on me and for me this year. (Sorry for the all sap. I know I'm being super-emotional/girly-girl right now. I blame it on lack of sleep.)


My sweet dad came down for two days over his spring break to help us paint the house. J and I were working the whole time and didn't get to see him much, but Dad painted quite a bit of the house alone. I know what it's like to be in that empty, echo-y house alone for hours at a time (when I taped my hiney off last week!), so I'm really thankful that he offered to help. I haven't had time to go over there again to see all the progress, but I'm told I'll be pleasantly surprised when I do. :) Today was the day that I didn't have to tutor, but instead of going to paint, I just want to nap... Instead, I'm editing papers and constructing cover letters/resumes for clients. Guess I'll have to wait 'til the weekend to really get things done. :)

I'm so, so excited about how the house! We want to move in so badly, but we'll wait. J is doin' his handy-man thang in the master bath, and I'm working on the decorating aspect of it all. I definitely didn't get the same crafty-gene my Meme has, but browsing Pinterest has given me some ideas. :)

Speaking of my creative Meme, she did a wonderful job with Kaci and Nick's wedding shower this past weekend! Here's a pic of a centerpiece she thought of and made on her own:

She took branches from her backyard and spray-painted them black (one of the wedding colors). Then she took white fabric flowers (since they didn't come in the appropriate blue) and dip-dyed them with food coloring to make them a shade of blue before gluing every one to the branches. Umm...? Are you kidding me? (Did I mention she wasn't feeling well at the time and has limited eyesight?! What?!) then she poured some glass beads in a vase, stuck the branch in the vase, and wrapped the vase in a couple different colors of tulle. The effect was simple but beautiful! 

She also was responsible for the majority of the sweets table:

I say "majority" because I made the banner...whoop-de-doo. Meme made the cupcakes (and dyed the frosting to match Kaci and Nick's wedding colors: white, blue, and black), various treats, and that cake in the center. The cake is actually styrofoam, but it sure looked real! The colorful candies on the right are part of the guests' favors: candy bar. :) It's stuff like this that makes me think my Meme is part superhero. I mean, I could never think of this stuff on my own; I use Pinterest and other Google searches to find inspiration and tutorials before finding a way to mess up the entire project I can do anything remotely creative.

Kaci and Nick only have a couple more months to go until they say "I do!" So, so excited for them!! <3

I guess I'm done rambling. But before I go -- 

A teacher at the school I'm at right now was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. I'm told this came as quite a shock, since she's a 29-year-old non-smoker. I taught with her one time last semester, when I subbed for a team member of hers. I remember her being a very sweet and helpful person! Friends, if you're the prayin' type, I'm going to ask that you add her to your prayer list, please. I hesitate to type her name, because I can't be sure how appreciative she would be of me spreading her cancer-news on my blog. But God will know who you're talking about... Please pray for wisdom for her doctors and strength and peace for her and her family.

Until next time --

0 love notes: